Anxiety is High

I feeling like the world is crashing in around me. There is no specific reason for it. I’m just having days of high anxiety and stress in all areas of my live.

On my work life, in my department of a law firm, my direct boss wants everyone in the office. However, all other departments in our firm are working from home and have been since March. This hold true for the other 6 or 7 offices around the country. It is just my boss that think that COVID is blown out of proportion and everyone just needs to get it and get over with it, so of like a chickenpox party that our parents used to do in the 70s. I just don’t think he believes in the science behind it and that it just doesn’t work that way. I have asthma, which is managed, but that along with taking care of very elderly parents, a disabled husband and 13 year old kid, I have a lot on my plate and can’t afford to get this virus. I’m scared it will kill me and too many people in my life rely on me. So, here I am at my office, where my boss walks around all day without a mask on, and I’m in a cubicle area, so I don’t have my own office where I can isolate. It sucks and creates a lot of stess, anxiety and animosity in the office. Especially when you see that 80% of the office is working from home. It just isn’t right, in my opinion.

On my home life, as stated in the last paragraph, I have disabled husband, an amputee, and a 13 year old kid in middle school. I worry about my husband all the time, he has had 37 surgeries since September of 2008. I constantly worry about infections, it has been a struggle. Also, we have struggled from having 2 incomes down to 1 income, refinanced our mortgage twice, had a hurricane flood our home 4 years ago, and now our flood insurance in through the roof. So we are selling our home of nearly 16 years. At least the market is high right now for sellers, so that is some relief, but then when we sell, we are buying a camper to live in on a vacant property we own, until we can build a new home on it. So, 3 people, 2 dogs, and 2 cats in a camper. Again, just stress with keeping the house we live in, in show ready style everyday, for quick showings as they happen randomly. It is hard to plan ahead when you don’t have the finances to do so, until the house sells with the hope we receive a profit from what we owe.

And now we have the holidays approaching far too fast for my liking. I just don’t know how to get out of a rut, to get my brain in positive place. I keep trying but it is so hard to do. Seriously hoping it gets better soon.